Saturday, August 8, 2009

What happens when your prayers are answered?

The good burghers of the villages of Fieschertal and Fiesch in the Swiss Alps had a problem in 1678 - their local glacier (the Aletsch Glacier) had grown so large, that it entered a lake, pushed out the water, and caused flooding of their homes.

At that point, they started praying that the Aletsch Glacier would recede, and no longer invade the lake. In 1862, they started holding an annual procession, with all of the enlightened accoutrements (sacrificing virgins, paying the local priests etc), to ensure that the glacier would retreat, and not cause them harm.

It appears that the praying and paying worked out for these villagers, as the Aletsch Glacier has in fact been receding since 1862, as a result of man-made emissions of the death gas, carbon dioxide, from the burning of fossil fuels, which commenced in earnest at approximately that time.

The trouble with prayers, though, is that sometimes they are answered. Like for the Lederhosen-clad folk of Fieschertal and Fiesch, for instance.

Since the inauguration of their annual parade in 1862, the glacier has been shrinking, answering their prayers by Divine Intervention. The burghers have been happy, and continued with their annual God-bothering festival for the last 147 years. However........

It appears that the good burghers have finally realised that their prayers have worked only too well, and now they are seeking an audience with the Pope, for authorisation to change the focus of their annual festival from shrinking the glacier, to praying that it grows.
See link from Reuters.
So, what exactly is going to happen when they meet with Joseph Alois Ratzinger, current occupant of the Papal See, and noted climatologist?

Kaboom is running 29 different political/societal computer models, all of which have various outcomes in terms of the stock market, and the winner of the sixth at Randwick. However, by way of consensus algorithms, Kaboom's models can indeed predict the most likely outcome:

So, as I understand, you have been praying to the Big Fella for 147 years, that this glacier would shrink?

And now, you come to me, seeking permission to change the OUTCOME sought from your prayers, that the glacier does not shrink, but in fact grows. Have I got this part correct?

Hmmmmm...... you do realise, of course, that you villagers have proof positive that prayers can be answered?

OK, look, before I, um.... pontificate on this issue, I've just got to tackle something simple, like, umm... the recent outbreak of The Troubles in Northern Ireland. Let me get back to you, hey?

Bugger that!


bingbing said...

One thing. Why didn't they just get ice picks et. al. and chip the shit away?

I believe in God but I also believe God gave us each a brain.

kae said...


You believe God also gave us each a brain? It's a nice idea.

No, I think some were standing behind the door...

WV: witine
the celebration of snow in the dead of winter - this pagan celebration is endangered and will surely go extinct with global warming-all-to-hell.

How the f**k are you, Kaboom?

Kaboom said...

Kae, there is very little censorship on this blog.

Sometimes, I have to fuck off some neo-conservatives who come here to spread their poison, but for fuck's sake, if you are politically apposite for commenting on a blog such as this, then Fuck Yeah!